Anonymous asked: Hi there, sorry to bother but I have a question. I found out from a good friend of mine, which also happens to be good friends with my brother that he(my brother) is depressed and has been taking anti-depressants. She tells me that she doesn't really think my brother is REALLY depressed, but she knows that he's just not very happy. Do you think I should do anything about it? Thanks a bunch<3
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Before I begin, I will assume that your good friend did not hear this from a ill-founded rumour. Now, is he taking anti-depressants that were not prescribed to him? Are your parents aware of this? Has he been with a therapist before? I personally would approach him first and gently ask about how he is about this. Don’t beat around the bush because the depressants adds urgency as they can be a threat to his health, but don’t scold or anything of the like—you want to show that you care, and not that he is doing something stupid, etc. If he is unwilling, you might have to speak with a parent about it, especially if those medications aren’t his. Most importantly, just be there for him and make it well-known that you are available and want to help him, be it lending an ear or anything else. Keep in mind he might be reluctant to share with you, but that doesn’t mean there’s no need for you to worry about him.
Again, no need for apologies when asking me because I am more than glad to share a few words and a perspective on your situation. Thank you for sharing with me.
Angelynn
Anonymous asked: Are you still taking questions?
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Of course. Anytime and every time. There really just isn’t any questions in my box for the past..however long it’s been..that isn’t private questions that are preferred to be answered discreetly. Spread the word. Publicize.
Anonymous asked: Is it better to take the Plan B or the Plan B One-Step?
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Both work the same way. I would recommend the latter since it’s only one pill, so you don’t have to worry about the time.
Anonymous asked: again in response to the mother situation, i would like to thank you so much for your advice it means a great deal to me knowing that you are there even if i remain anon. although, things are hard at the moment... i am in a comitted relationship of which my boyfriend sustains my happiness and helps me through those things that i need to develop. his mother is also filling in the missing gaps of mine and helping me through. sincere thanks <3
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You are most welcome, of course! I apologise, however, that I only can offer so much. Also, I am travelling in Europe, so I might be a tad slower in responding to these messages than I hope. Otherwise, my message box is open to you and all at all times, regardless of anonymity or not. And I’m glad you’ve a wonderful beau and that his mum is so kind. It seems you already have a decent-if-not-good support for what you intend to weather through and work with. Just never forget to not let yourself (be and) stay miserable—you have people to remind you.
Warmest regards,
Angelynn
Anonymous asked: in relation to the question about the mother; the problem is that no matter how many times you talk to her and ask her to pay attention to you, there is always something else. for example, at the moment i have two brothers one of which steals and the other causes trouble at school, but when they both do something wrong; i always get the blame. i just need help trying to figure out how to handle to situation <3
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And you’ve tried approaching her when she has no other preoccupations, yes? Unfortunately, if there is absolutely no way of breaking her stone-walling, you might get stuck with the blame. But maybe you can try talking with those two brother to work something out. Also, do you have a good supporting system of friends, perhaps? It sounds a tad cheesy, but having at least one person to vent and share with can help significantly. I know that stress can get unbearable. If it is at all possible, you can drag your mum somehow to therapy. She needs to understand your gravity and care for the situation. Ask her to talk with you when she does actually have the time, instead of approach her when you think she does.
Moreover, let yourself relax a little—if she’s giving you too hard of a time. Don’t forget that you need to be yourself and enjoy/let go a little too. You’re not alone, and you’ll weather this through.
I wish for you the best and will be here if you need anything more.
Thank you so much for sharing. <3
Anonymous asked: I need some advice. And it may be quite long. So I apologise.
I just, don't really know how to start. It's about boyfriends and relationships. I've never had one, but generally just can't stop thinking about it.
My parents don't love each other, but they are still together. Whenever my dad tried to be affectionate my mum brushed him off. And we never spoke about our feelings in our family, it's like a sign of weakness. I've been brought up with this belief that being dependent on a guy is wrong, and that we have to be independent. So that's what I am. Independent. But then, as the youngest, I'm treated as if I'm 12 (I'm actually 18). And because of this I don't feel old enough for a boyfriend. But I actually am. but my siblings don't have boyfriends/girlfriends. My brother sleeps around and thinks its amazing. But that makes me scared, because as I've never had a boyfriend I've never had a first kiss or anything! At all. And on one of the first days at university, a guy thought we were going to sleep together and now I can't really. I don't know. Like even talk to a guy. Because I'm ashamed. I think if any guy actually talks to me (which is rare) then it must be for a joke or to be polite cause I'm ugly.
I just find it really hard to open up. I tell me friends at university that I had a boyfriend at school but I didn't.
I don't want to end up alone. And I'm just scared that I won't ever be able to get past this feeling that I get whenever I'm around guys. I compare myself a lot to celebrities so continuously tell myself that I need to lose weight and be prettier. My family are always saying how big-of-a-face I have and yeah, I joke about it with them cause if I show that I'm affected then they'll just laugh at me.
I just don't want to be afraid of guys. And be confident.
I know that it's a confident issue, but I know who I am, and what I want from my life. And then there are girls who don't and seem to think that they have confident issues but somehow have a boyfriend. I don't think I'm good enough for any guy.
Blaaaaah. Sorry. I just don't know what to do. And basically wanted to tell someone.
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Firstly, take a breather. You’re okay. You’ll be okay. And I’m not just saying that. This ruminating will only dig you into a deeper hole. From what I read, it sounds like you don’t deal with any kind of intimate relationships in your family. So it is a tad expected that you feel awkward and scared of it with other guys, or just people in general, when you’re with them or interacting with them. While it’s normal to be curious about having a relationship and not wanting to be alone, you must stop and think for a second. You’re 18! You have so much time to grow and explore! You have no worries because it is good that you’re working through this now, as you are supposed to—being a “babe” in the “real world.” I know it’s difficult to open up, but maybe try doing so with your friends first, then work your way into your family. Tell them how you feel about jokes made about a certain part of you, and how you feel. It’s not weak. I know where you are coming from as your situation is very similar to my personal experience. It’s actually much stronger and braver to express what you feel/think that to conceal it away and ignore it. Also, we all compare ourselves to celebrities and other people. We’ll always think, “I’m a little less thing and that than this person”..so and so. But try to focus on what you like about yourself—pink round toes, un-bruised shins, flat and fair fingernails, soft curve of the ear, etc. Focus on you—that good that you like. Don’t say there nothing, because then you’re not even trying. You already said it—you know that it’s a confident issue. You know who you are. You know what you want. You are already so ahead of so many—this is beautiful. Now embrace that and let yourself believe in yourself. Trust in yourself. Know who you are, see who you are, like parts of who you are..then work your way to more. A relationship isn’t just something that makes you feel “Oh, I am wanted,” but rather it is much more complex and hard-working and deep (or at least it should be, rather than a shallow connection). Having a boyfriend doesn’t mean that you’re automatically wanted and fulfilled and complete. No way. It doesn’t validate your identity at all. Let yourself be happy and learn to know what is happy to you. Then later, a boyfriend will come and continue to help you with you being happy. A boyfriend doesn’t make you happy. You happiness depends on you. Seize it. Reading what you’ve shared, I know you’re brilliant. Don’t forget that. Don’t forget yourself.
Thank you very much for sharing with me,
Complain/rant/sigh all you want,
I’m here.
Anonymous asked: i need advice; when your mum doesn't listen to what you need, can you do anything about it? She works nearly everyday and i see her 25 mins a day and it's not enough. she has someone that is supposed to 'help' her with work yet she doesn't do anything... can you help? <3
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So are you asking how you can get her to spend more time with you? Or are you saying that she won’t listen to you in those minutes you see her? I’ll offer my best once I fully understand the situation, lovely.
Anonymous asked: I need advice.
my mother is the not-so-involved sort of mother. I am now 14 but I have not shaved yet. my classmates all have because their legs are flawless and they where sleeveless clothes confidently. I have long leg hair and (eek!) armpit hair. I am very afraid that someone knows about it as there has been jokes and rumours about hairy' people and teachers going round the school.
how can I approach my mother to let me shave? I am very shy and do not like talking to my mother. also, my older sister and brother (aged 15 and 16 respectively) have not shaved yet too, so it must be even harder for me to tell her.
please reply soon.
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Sorry for the delay as I’ve been so preoccupied with my school-works.
Seeing that your older siblings have not even broken into this topic with your mother, it will be considerably difficult. However, please don’t let this discourage you. While your mother may be the kind that isn’t too involved or close, if you truly want/need this, suck everything up and approach her. You have nothing to lose (unless you count being bold as something to lose). Start by mentioning something of appearances, and while you’re on the topic of that, ask her if she’d be willing for you to shave. Mention that it’s something that does matter to you and you think it’s time you take more charge of your personal matters like such. It will be difficult, but you can do it. If you needs convincing, well then it’ll all be up to how much you really feel you need this. If you’d rather avoid mum entirely alone, maybe approach one of your siblings, preferably one you’re closer with. They could approach her with you and talk with your mother with you. I personally have dealt with mothers of the like, so I know what you’re up against. I wish you the best of all.
Angelynn
Thank you for sharing!
Anonymous asked: hey angelynn! i just need some advice.
so there's this boy and we met 2 months ago. he's honestly made my life so much better and it feels like we've known each other for a long time. i've started developing feelings a few weeks ago and according to mutual friends, he likes me too. but the thing is that, lately, he hasn't been texting or talking to me as much. i kinda miss him and i also really want to tell him that i miss him, but i don't want to be so obvious or too clingy sounding. i feel really annoying when i'm around him. he's really clueless when it comes to love but i feel like it'd be too obvious if i was flirty around him. he's already been getting the wrong ideas because he actually follows my tumblrs and he doesn't realize some posts are about him. any advice?
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You said it yourself—he can be clueless when it comes to love. So maybe he’s backing off because of some of those posts. I strongly suggest to just tell him. Sounds intimidating, yes, but it seems like you already have his interests, and you should take ahold of that before he distances himself for the wrong reasons. It won’t be clingly—just tell him you really enjoy his company and like him sincerely. Ask if he feels the same. If you two click like you say you do, then go for it.
Wishing you the best!
Anonymous asked: You have a plane to go anywhere you want in the world. Where to?
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England, France, or Italy.
Anonymous asked: What're some good suggestions for a sore throat? It's killing me.
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I am not a doctor or of any medical profession.
Hot drinks help ease the throat. Gargle with raspberry tea, Listerine, salt water, tumeric, or sage. Drink cider vinegar. Sip real lemon juice (with some honey), or lime juice (with some honey). Drink a ton of water. Suck on a garlic (never done this before, never want to). A good steaming session is good too (just fill up the tub with hot water and sit over it with a towel over your head).
I personally love hot tea (simple stuff like Lipton) with some honey and real lemon squeeze. Other favourite is hot/warm milk with honey.
Speedy recovery!
Anonymous asked: A friend of mine, (male, I'm female) went out with a girl I know for 11 months, and they were really close, despite their messy relationship and personal issues. They both have depression, and both had previous problems such as molestation and physical abuse. They broke up just before our formal, at the end of last year. His ex, about a week later, started going out with another guy, and they're now going steady. She lost her virginity to him, which really upset my friend, because she refused to give it to him. He's messed up pretty badly, overanalyses everything, and cuts quite regularly. We've become really close since the breakup, and he tells me everything. We talk and see each other all the time, he's practically my best friend, and about three months after formal, I found myself falling for him. I told him I liked him, and I asked if that was okay. He said it was fine, he wouldn't be a jerk about it or anything. He then called one of our mutual friends and proceeded to tell her about how much he didn't want me to like him, how he didn't like me back at all, and if he ever did, he didn't see it ending well. The mutual friend then passed this information on to me. I felt really hurt that he couldn't just tell me this himself. Since then, (it's been about two more months) we've become fast friends again, and I think he thinks that I don't like him anymore, even though I do. I get mixed signals from him all the time, sometimes I think he really might like me, (such as when he sends me nice letters in the post, or gives me little presents, or asks to hang out with me all the time) but other times, I think he hates me, because he can get really nasty, and his moods are extremely unpredictable. He told me once that he cut because of me, and at one stage he burnt everything I'd ever given him because he overanalysed when I didn't talk to him for a few days, thinking I didn't want to be his friend anymore. He went to Europe for two weeks with his school, and kept trying to contact me while on the other side of the world. The other morning from Europe, we were chatting online and he was in a really bad mood, because we only had two hours to talk, I had to go at a certain time. I thought this was plenty of time, but he disagreed. Anyway, I tried to make it better, by, when I had to go, I said, "Bye, love you" as friends, because we've said that a couple of times to each other. It holds pretty big meaning, for both of us, and basically shows how much we care about each other (platonically) and that we won't abandon each other. He responded to this by saying "Whatever" and signing off. I realise he was in a bad mood, but still, it shattered something in me. I don't know whether to stop being friends with him, (because he constantly fears that I'll 'abandon' or 'leave' him) or to stay friends. He makes me feel like crap a lot of the time, but when he's in a good mood, I'm over the moon, and truly happy. I really do value his friendship, and don't want to lose it. I find that my moods match his, when he's sad, I'm sad, and when he's happy, I'm happy. I'm not quite sure what to do, what do you think? Thanks Jen!
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I’ll address your second message first: No worries about the “Thanks, Jen” part. All if forgiven.
Now..
While I understand you care for this person deeply and just want him to be okay, having your happiness hang on his moods is not good at all.Ignoring the fact that you take an interest in him as more than a friend..He doesn’t even seem to have a steady hand in being a friend with you. It seems that, regardless what the cause is, he really is not in a time and place in his life where he is able to handle a relationship genuinely. He needs to know that his behavior affects you gravely even as a friend and should not flaunt his highs and lows at you for an advantage. Unfortunately, unless he responds to your voice (when/if you talk with him about this), I don’t see how there is any other way. I personally would try to distance myself from him if he continues this ‘play’. You deserve to be happy. Happiness is yours, and you are in charge of it. So please don’t put all of that weight on someone else, let alone, someone who has seemingly extreme highs and lows. Let it be known to him that if he ever needs you, you will be here for him, but that his emotional rides are exhausting. I feel as though..in his highs, he tends to be sweet and a little clingy because you’re the one who’s been sticking around with him, and he may be taking that for granted.
As for his being upset about his ex not giving her virginity to him.. He shouldn’t be broken about this because he should understand that she is entitled to her body and decision. And she should give it to someone she is comfortable and willing with. If he feels that he deserved it, then he needs to recheck himself. (Not trying to sound mean-spirited; this is the truth).
I hope I have offered something helpful,
And I wish you best of everything!
Anonymous asked: i just wanted to share with you that recently i have been so much more happier than i used to be. youve been a great help and i feel like i am no longer stagnant but moving forward. i hope that youre going well yourself and i wish everyone the best! xx
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Thank you so much for sharing. I wish I could’ve known who it is that I have supposedly helped. Nonetheless, I am so glad for you and your words are warming to read!
Anonymous asked: Hey there. I am a bisexual girl. I've only had relationships with boys, but there is a girl at my school that I'm really into. We are very close friends and I am trying to figure out if she feels more for me than just friendship. During one instance, when I was passing notes with a boy she knew I liked during class she said 'stop passing notes to him' and proceeded to start passing notes to me. She's been telling me that she's been missing me a lot lately and also has mentioned that she thinks people sense something between us that drives them away from hanging out with us when we are together. I can't tell if she views me as a really good friend or something more. I want to tell her about my feelings.
What would you do? What should I do?
thanks.
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From what you’ve told me, it seems that she might be open to something more than what you two share now. I believe if you feel you can really be yourself and be happy with her, you should tell her. Start gentle, mention how you really feel comfortable and happy when you’re with her. From that, gauge her reaction and decide whether you should continue or not. Softly proceed until you feel you can straightforwardly tell her that you like her more than a friend, that you would like to pursue something more with her. Be direct. Don’t send cryptic messages because that usually strays and misinterprestation happens: someone will get hurt more easily. Keep in mind that you don’t want to force her or anything, no obligations. Maybe she’s shy and doesn’t know how to approach this at all with you, or maybe she’s not ready to be explicitly with you, etc. But always know that there is a possibility that she doesn’t want to try anything more with you than friendship. However, just because she might not want to go further doesn’t mean your friendship should end just there. If you believe your connection is strong, then this shouldn’t end anything. She will appreciate that you’ve shared with her that regardless the situation.
I’ll be sending you all positive energies!
Thank you for sharing a lovely part of your life.